Its your birthday....my your candles burn...like the cities burn (Viking Raider Birthday Song)

So today is my birthday. I’m 36. Don’t really feel like I’m 36. Or maybe I do. Don’t know.

Haga, Akiva, and the unborn son are in Japan visiting family. They will be back on June 18th . I miss them so dearly. I miss seeing Akiva smile at me in the morning when I’m trying to go back to sleep. I so miss seeing him. I hope he doesn’t completely forget me. But this is good for him and her. Grandma can help take care of him. Haga told me he is starting to play with his cousins (at least he thinks he is playing with them).

I’m very busy this month. I just taught a class on negotiation skills (100% in Chinese) to a group of managers in Guangzhou. The first day didn’t go so good…they said I seemed tense and my speaking for too slow. The second day went really well though. At least, that’s what they told us. I didn’t bring the camera so I didn’t take pictures of the Dim Sum I ate there. I did have the most authentic Turkish food I have ever had though. It was awesome.

Guangzhou is actually a pretty cool city. Traffic is bad, but not as bad as Shanghai. People are more casual and less pretentious (than Shanghai people)…that’s good and bad. Sometimes its people’s pretentions that make them interesting to watch. They on average have better English skills there. And Guangzhou guys are stronger and cooler. The girls are really skinny and short though.

I’m not doing anything for my birthday but working. On the weekend I’ll probably have dinner with my American friend Tavon and my Chinese friend Jeff; their birthdays are around the same time. Tavon just got fired from his high-end job…selling Vodka to bars. I feel sad about this…he didn’t have time to take me out to expensive bars and expense the drinks. He was upset, but I was more upset. But to console him, I told him about how I got fired from Gamestop (the retail video game store) because they didn’t think I was manager material.

Anyway, I will try to keep you all posted of interesting things happening

Traditional Grandma vs. New mom

We had an Ayi (babysitter/house cleaning lady) who was 33 years old and looked like a massage parler lady; super straight red hair, low rider jeans, and pointy high heal. Every neighbor and friend said she looked too young to be an Ayi. On the other hand, Chinese people told me to find a young one, so I could train her. In addition to that, none Suzhounese is better (means work harder). Our massage parler looking Ayi is from Sichuan and she is a minority [not a Han-Chinese]. I thought she seemed fit into the Chinese good Ayi categories.

She was nice and took care of Akiva very well. I liked her a lot, except she was flaky. Three times month she called me on that day and told me not able to come to work; this which affected Akiva and my schedule. I thought I should let her go. Instead we had a discussion (mostly Jesse led conversation. He cannot stand my Chinese and the way I deliver the point). She promised us to be better. Next morning I got a text message on my cell phone from the Ayi. She said her father [in small minority village in Sichuan, 1000 miles west of here] is sick and she has to go home. Find another Ayi.

I went to an Ayi introduction company. They had a good candidate on the list. I went to see her. She has Ayi experience. Until recently she took care of two years old Taiwainese girl but her family went back to Taiwan. She seemed OK, except she doesn’t look at my eyes when she talks to me. Plus she had buck teeth. I wonder because she is ashamed of her buck teeth so she doesn’t look at me. I also wonder how I feel to see her with buck teeth every day. And I wonder if Akiva will fall in love with buck teeth girl because of his early babysitter memory. Anyway when I told Jesse, he immediately said we don’t want her. Not because her teeth, but her basic communication manner.

Friday, we had another Ayi came to our house for interview. When I saw her on doorbell/monither screen, she looked like a traditional working class grandma. I kind of hesatate to open the door. As soon as she came in, she held Akiva and gave him a lot of kisses. Akiva tried to escape, but she held him up and spun him around with a lot of kisses. She was out going and loud. She said she is 50 years old (Chinese people said Ayi over 50 years old is no no because physically too old to take care of baby and mentally too old to alter their householding habits ). Anyway she was different, so we decided to ask her come for trial on Monday.

On Monday, we wanted Akiva to get used to her, so we went out together. I told her Akiva has a lot of energy and if he doesn’t do enough physical activities day time he has hard time to go to sleep at night. I asked her to let Akiva walk by his self. She couldn’t put him down on the ground. She told me he is so cute and has so little feet. I asked her again but she held him and she started running away from me. I asked her many time, but every time she put him down and immediately picked him up with a lot of kisses.

She also wanted to give him whatever food he pointed by his finger. I told her not to give him snacks and juices because he cannot eat lunch later. However she managed to give him a whole box of biscuits behind of my back.

I reported Jesse and had him to advise her to not to baby Akiva too much. Next day, the Ayi told Jesse she cannot work for mother who doesn’t pay attention where her son walks to and doesn’t care her son falls down. She cannot believe mother who let her son starve. She believes baby should be spoiled and she doesn’t want to change her babysitting technique. Am I an evil mother to her? Oh well. Seeking a good Ayi continued.

COWBOY COUNTRY CLUB

We went to a cowboy country club in West Mountain(XiShang). We thought it would not be far from the Taihu Lake so we took a public bus from Baodao Hotel by the lake. Took us 40 minutes and we also had to take a Chinese "tuktuk" for fifteen minutes on unpaved street from the bus stop. The bus ride wasn't bad. It was Akiva's first time to take a public bus. We sang to him a "Wheels on the bus". We saw a bee farm at the bus stop. We bought a local honey.When I go to any places in China. I have no expectation. Especially we had to go through this area.This area was used to be a jail for light sentence prisoners. There was a thick tall concrete wall around their accommodations to make their guest feel super safe. (They said there was no murder or any riots at the jail)We did a peddleboat for five minutes. Akiva was on my lap and I couldn’t really pedal. Wind was stronger than Jesse’s energy. We did archery. Jesse rode a horse and we never gonna have another child.It could be a good place for the Boy Scouts to come and rid horses, BBQ, and bonfire.

The Flower and Birds Outdoor Market

We went back to the flower and bird outdoor market in Ganjiang Rd. Last time we didn’t go to a pet section. This time we saw puppies, kittens, birds, rabbits, hamsters, crickets, fish and turtles all kind of pets. There were many people at bird stores. I guess bird flue fear got disappeared.Akiva loves friendly dogs and cats. Unfortunately he fell asleep on daddy’s shoulder.We bought red and green maple trees, jasmine, lavender, cat tail, and various herb seeds. Jesse selected Chinese style clay pots for each plant with soil. We don’t have a backyard, but we have some space on terrace. We want to make it our little garden.

Western Sales but Chinese Customer Service

There is a nice bed and furniture store in SIP. The designer is from Europe and made in Europe. The price is also European (not cheap).

When we stepped in the store, the all store sales clerks welcomed us with big smile. They gave us fresh squeezed orange juice and coffee made by an expensive espresso machine. First time we went there, we had orange juice and coffee. Jesse asked them to refill the coffee. All sales clerks speak good English.

We went back there during the holiday to buy a hemp carpet. We have known what we wanted, sold beige color. Jesse had a cup of coffee and we bought the carpet.

They delivered the carpet quickly but they brought a carpet with a beige-coffee color pattern in the center. We told the delivered store clerk that we want the solid not the patterned. He told us just try it. We told him we want the solid. He called the sales clerk who took our order. He said the same thing just try it.

[Jesse- at the store, the sales man showed us the smaller version of the carpet. He showed us a pile of carpets and we said we want the same one as the sample only larger. The sales person pointed out the carpet, which was on the bottom of the pile, so we didn’t see the pattern in the center.]

Meanwhile the delivery driver’s feel were so smelly. His feet stank up the entire our living room (we should never ask Chinese workers to take off their shoes).

Jesse was dealing with the sales clerk very courteously. However he kept telling him the same thing that we should try the patterned because it is the same material. They don’t have a new sold color carpet at their inventory. Otherwise he will charge us the delivery fee.

Akiva started crying. The room stank.

Jesse yelled at him over the phone, “We want the sold! It is your mistake to deliver the patterned. Take it back right now and bring back the cash!!”

[I think it would be more accurate to say that the demon came out. The same one that is in my father. My eyes got wider and a little trembling. The voice came from my stomach. The worker left quickly]

We often make the same mistake. Whenever we go to Western hotels, restaurants, and stores, an English speaking person comes up to Jesse and make us feel like a home.

Chinese people are good at sales. They can be a good sales person. English speaking sales person know how to smile and sell stuffs. We forget the basic Chinese shopping rules, price negotiation (even American gym chain can price down their membership fee), order confirmation (at least three times), and product quality check (literally we need to upside down and inside out the product before we buy).

On the other hand, the English speaking Westernized Chinese sales person don’t know customer service; they don’t want to confirm; they don’t want to accept; they make wrong assumption; they want to negotiate customer service so on.

Eventually the patterned carpet was taken back. The cash was brought back by the sales clerk and he said “I am glad we took it back. The patterned is more expenxive than what you want”.

Labor's Day Holiday

Three days of labour’s day holiday started at May 1st. We made a big mistake to go to a most happing shopping street “GuanQian Jie” at the fist day. There were people everywhere. We managed to go to a flower and bird outdoor market which sells plants, flowers, Chinese gardening decoration stones, and various pets. The market was actually very nice. A lot of greens made us relaxed.

At the market, we found a rattan furniture store and found a hanging a rattan chair I have wanted. The chair is attached to a metal bar and swings and bounces like a rocking chair. We almost bought it but we didn’t know where to put it. It takes too much space on our balcony although it is kind of nice to hang around there.

We stayed the market by lunch time. I wanted to eat, but there were many people at every restaurant. Jesse completely lost his apatite by the noises. When he doesn’t want to eat or doesn’t know what he wants to eat, we will have a problem. Most the time he doesn’t like my choice although he says he doesn’t care or he is not hungry. It is better for our family to let him decide what we eat. We wondered around on the crowded main street and checked out a couple of restaurants. Finally we decided to go to a small Japanese curry restaurant/bar. It was Jesse’s decision and good one (my decision was MacDonald. Now you know why he doesn’t like my choice). The restaurant/bar is on a small street from one block away from the main street. I felt it was like an oasis. The restaurant was so quiet and played jazz. There was a bar counter and six stools, and two small tables against the wall. It is very small and narrow space and remains me restaurants and bars in Tokyo. The owner is a quiet cool looking Suzhounese who studied in Japan. We had a good home made curry for 15RMB and charged back our energy there. Unfortunately I didn’t get the name of restaurant or street for you guys.